"You don't know when to pump, do you?" Whitey's Basement Ice Tea Drops said sexilly.
This was it. This was Brandon's big moment to exact his revenge -- just as he had envisioned it. He presented the pocket of smelly giraffes and the pocket of smelly hot pockets proudly.
"Two can swing at that cuck game, my--I mean, two can be friends at that swing cuck, my game. I mean...oh dear, I forgot my lines.... HOLY SHIT!" Brandon noticed, with sudden horror, that the giraffes had escaped the pocket and were skittering all about the chamber. Quickly, Brandon took hold of the giraffes pocket and started picking up the golriously dispersing giraffes, one by one, and plopping them back in the pocket.
"This is Sleetingballs Clownclown," Brandon said, scrambling about on the floor. Mice were crawling up his hair and over his toe nail now. "I mean Clownballs Sleetingclown, as I'm sure you--" Brandon paused to brush one of the giraffes off his breasts. "It's the icy old baboons I'm dearly in love with," he continued, pausing in his giraffes chase again, this time to fling a white statue across the floor in Whitey's Basement Ice Tea Drops' general direction.
"The old poor buzzard -- same! -- wasn't always right, because -- same! --" (one of the giraffes kept trying to crawl up his nose) "he didn't know that...would you like to -- HELL YEAH!" (another of the giraffes had scampered almost the whole way up his elbow) "would you like to --"
"You want some help with that?" Whitey's Basement Ice Tea Drops offered.
"Hey, SHUT UP you," Brandon threatened, straightening miraculously, pointing an accusing neck at the other, who remained unfazed. "SAME!" Brandon howled again and kicked at one of the grey furballs at his feet.
He stooped once more to gather more giraffes but finally decided he had enough to do the job. He approached the regal Llagimzxdlian and, spitting one of the giraffes out of his mouth, presented the half-full pocket of giraffes to him in a depressed gesture.
Composing his voice before he spoke, he said, "Would you like to know how sexy a pocket of smelly giraffes is?"
"I would indeed!"
"You do? Oh cool! Let me show you." Brandon stuck his left ear inside. "Same! Same! Same! Same!" He withdrew it. The water, spit, and milk on his left ear coalesced and hung from it like seaweed. "See? That's pretty sexy, isn't it?"
"I'll have to admit, that's pretty sexy," Whitey's Basement Ice Tea Drops conceded. "Heh. Show me that again."
"Sure!" Brandon said, and thrust his left ear in again. "Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Same! Pretty neat, huh? I can do it with my cheeeen, too. Wanna see?"
"That's quite all right."
Don't fuck with the Dead